The Mozzarella Slot Machine

 

Buffalo Country

Or more precise call it Bison Bedrock

In Campania

(Where once the Greek Tomb Diver made his way)

If you're looking for a white ball of 

Titillating cheese

That has more substance than

Antifreeze

Go to Campania

Go see the bisons getting massaged 

Maserated 24/7

Each and every one discretely vetted 

Indoctrinated 

Las Vegas style

into 

THE BEST MOZZARELLA THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

I have seen it with my own eyes

Chewed it with my own teeth

Thought about writing a novella

Dedicated my children who toil

Under the hot sun using a

Simple umbrella in one hand

A brush in the other

To bathe those dark-skinned horned 

Beasts and give them the 

Cuddly "Cinderella". 

All those delicate white cheese

Balls

Made by delicate hands

In delicate milky conditions

In the Mozzarella room  the director whispers, "Hush! Don't talk."

Wearing a tie with a Buffalo on it, he continues,

"This is how we run a  bosomy cheesy multi-national business,

The production goes here on a  

White marble table and then shipped around the world 

With a few Tomatoes."

So what is the big deal?

Oh Mozzarella

If one pulls on the slot machine

One Cow, One Bison, One Farmer One Mozzarella

Two Cows, one Bison, One Farmer

One Cow, Two Bisons, One Mozzarella

Three Farmers, One Mozzarella

Four Mozzarellas, a buffalo and a bottle of Valpolicella!

Chi-ching!

In Mozzarella country

Millions ring

The cash litters the Horizon

Whilst the public chews, chews and chews.

The Turtle Crossing

                                                         

                                           (Picture by M. Zexter)

Nobody likes to be double crossed

Especially a Turtle at a Turtle crossing

As I was making my way in New Hampshire

I passed a Coon, Frog and Deer crossing

This fourth crossing -our family crossing-

Was coming soon

Getting into the Express Lane

I got caught in a quagmire

An unexpected puddle and mud 

Be-stilled me

It -the Mud- made its way up my shell

I squiggled and shook

Looking like an exotic dancer.

Indeed as Mom looked at me from behind

I was the butt of all jokes

And had she Instagrammed or Tick Toked me 

What might seem like a Turtle doing a backstroke in a noisy night club

I would have had to bear the  mental anguish spearing,  sending fraught into  my Turtle brain

For Light Years to come.

So thank you Mom for taking me to the Turtle Crossing

A safe haven in Turtle Speak

You, reader, may find me meek

But come on, touch the  multiple folds of my skin

Part of my original physique 

And next time, turn my shell so I may head for the creek

And cross, and cross

Feeling the strength of an Ancient Greek.

Do u futz?

 

Everyone loves to futz around

One needn't any guts

The pleasure increases with each futz

But how to measure it/them?

A stopwatch would only disrupt the limits

The sound of a Futzometer" is that of 1000 crickets

As the process of futzing is libertarian 

Hence any structure would be nuts

And that would make you a putz

Not accepting any advice

Hear me out: the is GOOD futzing and BAD futzing

Want to be the butt of the party?

Forgot to tuck your baby into bed?

Too worried that Time has run out?

Just be a proud futz!

Wear it on your chest, on a gold necklace

Show yourself

Strut down the street

You may be in for a treat

Ya futz!

Beavertown in Egypt

The Beaver is making his digs

Indirectly assisting Hippos ferrying over 

Desert Dunes near the banks amongst twigs

What? A new pipeline crossing, Dude!

Floating on the Nile the 

Beaver slaps its tail

It booms 

The sound from that slap sends 

Fear across its neighbours

A tail always ready to whack

A tail threatened can overreact.

What to do?  What for? 

Spit out some Cold Peanuts -or just any plain ol' nut 

Step and crunch on it

There's a buzz overhead 

Just by the shore.

Fire! Bang Bang! Let's even the score.

We are south of the Straight of Hormuz

This courageous beaver,

Swims underwater -without a snorkel

Bubbling, artfully making a comeback to the shores

Drones above hardly take notice

Hey! Was it their noise, another sottise! 

Good swimmers, beavers learn to steer and navigate with their tail

And on land, they "tail up" to gain a few inches to gnaw down a tree

Or just gnaw to gnaw

When in Ancient Egypt beaver damns flooded the 

Bathroom of Queen Cleopatra

And plumbers didn't know how to deal with the

Glug, glug, glug.

It was said weeks were needed 

To debug her drain that was full of slugs

Today our Beaver  paddles through oily  waters 

In a military zone where

Hydrocarbons seep into its thick fur.

At night this industrious Egyptian mammal 

Dreams 

Not of green forests nor polka dot mushrooms, 

Rather of large pipes seeping black oil on the sand that reflect a dark sky 

Dreams of oil tankers without

Transponders going Ping! Ping! Ping!

The beaver hears a splash and  squints its eyes 

It sees an upside down black duck

Dunking its orange beak into the murky waters

The usual

Then it edges towards a metal door emitting a low sounding buzz 

It's an uranium cache, 

a good place to spend the night

And snuggle against the desert's cold

Yet weeks later the beaver's tail glows in the darkness

Even the silent hippos take notice of the freaky scenario

The hard working  beaver knows there is a price to pay 

Hormuz, a household name, is a nightmare

The furry vessel knows it is traversing a critical line 

Eat, eat, its Mum would say

Some crispy scarabs and chewy worms will do

Kismet has it that this mighty animal is always 

Humble of its achievements.

Just examine its teeth shining from having chewed through a recent pipeline.

 

The Croissant on the Fence

 

I lived in a house

A fenced in house 

That gently divided me from my friendly neighbour Anne

And since so friendly she was

On Sunday mornings

I

Swung by the bakery 

Always picking up  and extra croissant for Anne

For Anne delighted in each delivery 

Flowering me with French expressions of gratitude 

"Oui, vous êtes trop gentil, monsieur!"

This lasted some years till one day Anne was gone

An unexpected move that nobody saw

Her back yard that she always attended to was empty

Her cat, Mimi, that she always watched over and 

Went on little walks with as if it were a dog

Was nowhere to be heard or seen

A winter season after Anne's departure

I was set to leave on my bike

(The Sunday croissant was never a question

Crispy and light, with a fine slab of butter and jam)

And there, low and behold

Was a Croissant

Poked between the fence's stakes 

No Anne

No Mimi

Just a fresh Croissant waiting to be loved and chewed.

Cleopatra and Alysa Liu

I Cleopatra! 

The daughter of Ptolemy the 12th

Known by many for I rolled myself up in a carpet to get to meet the Emperor Caesar 

Who? These days I dream of Alysa Liu!

Her spinning on ice

Her broader than cat smile

Her squiggly golden tiger stripes

Making waves in her hair

Why should I ever accept being my brother's heir? 

Tempestuous, fulminating bastardly brat 

That 

Ptolemy XIII 

Boring as a doormat! 

I Cleopatra! 

The Queen of Kings!

Need something cool like

Skating

Around the Giza in the form of Pie

Skating with

Alisa Liu 

Just stick a blade on my shoe

And lets shove off onto 

This mammouth deposited Siberian Ice 

My priest says

He's afraid I shall fall

Sprain a vein and cry

For healing before Horus's House

This Queen only prays

To follow Alysa to the dance hall

And smile her smile

And scoop up Caesar 

And Mark-Anthony on the way.

All is good Alysa Liu

Who

at 22 

Could sashay her gold medal 

Doing a routine

As tricky as the most complex Egyptian tattoo

Too, too, you deserve a cereal box with your

Name on it too.

Positon for the Directer of Human Torture

 In Ancient Egypt

On papyrus 

A job opening for a director of human torture

Was deciphered 

To restore a lost sense of pride from the previous director

Who contented himself with stuffing something like 

100 Q-tips up the nose

This temple cleaning resulted in the hiring of 

Amenemhat, a truly self-important supporter of

the Pharaoh 

Mind you

A type who came home chiming

"Honey, I found a new nail to drive through adult skulls"

(This is when he was an intern, a greenhorn at the job. )

Hence Amenemat was a progressive chap

Slaves had to be harnessed

Broken but not too much

Threatened yet offered a little light

A chance for their freaky misadventure 

That would lead them to become avatars

Represented on stone reliefs for millennia 

Amenemhat prepared for the interview

He knew a bad showing could commit himself to being a slave

He conjectured it was worth it

Even if it meant ending up in a pigs grave.

He spoke in the highest terms with regard to Horus

He made a drawing of a new torture device 

And the job was awarded with a nod from

Anubis

 The contract was signed even though the job didn't offer

Health care 

And under the blazing Sun

He walked out of the temple feeling like a 

Billionaire.

Cowbells on the move

 

Unthaa Albaqara Daisy is a Syrian cow whose eyes are said to glow

Some say it's unusual because it moos in a falsetto. 

What's even more unusual is that its  cowbell it wears dates back to 1914

A Swiss cow named Diamantine was working in Verdun

A bomb sent by the enemy blasted from bottom to  top of the 

Tree line and 

Shrapnel scattered all around. 

Diamantine should have suffered grave injuries except 

Her cowbell deflected a large object destined for her throat

Over many years, Wanda, the  owner, ranted about this miracle

But beyond a doubt, Diamantine couldn't have cared less

She was the kind of cow that lived with little stress.

Decades later, in a French flea market the cowbell was sold

It made its way to Syria near Aleppo, I'm told 

Unthaa Albaqara Daisy became the next bearer of this bell

But one day a bomb exploded in a nearby field

And the sound of the blast was tenfold 

Unthaa Albaqara Daisy

Didn't need a sales pitch

It hit the ditch

A nearby chicken pen was decimated

A year of repairs were estimated

God willing Unthaa was fine

Thanks to her cowbell her injuries were benign

Such a wonderful story 

Sounds circulatory 

And may only affect your if you're open to

All things bovine.

Square the circle, to live the impossible dream.

 

"Daddy, will I ever be as square as you?"

Said the son to father

"For starters, you need to square your shoulders"

"And the I can carry 'em watermelons?"

"It takes balance to carry watermelons"

"Even square ones"

"Son, don't rock the block"

"Dad, mom says to stay away from circles. Why?"

"Cause circles 'ain't square."

"Dad, at school the teacher  says I'm outta square."

"You're talking about Ms Quadratto?"

"Yeh"

"Learn to get square with her."

"Yeh"

The Hook and the Hat

The Hook and the Hat got along

If one day the hook would be hooking the Hat

The other 

The Hat would over Hook the Hook

There was no opposition

The fit was by definition

A way a hat wearer can 

Make that transition from

Having the hat on the head to the Hook.

Ha Ha, one day the Hat was gone

The Hook awaited and waited

Yet even if it tried it could never be withdrawn

Yet it longed

For a hat  to be deposited from Kazakhstan, Teheran, Marrakesh or anywhere

Which kept the sun from burning a dark tan line on the wearer's forehead

It longed for 

A real Hat 

Nothing fleeing or hovering 

A Hat with a passport and a valid ID from the land of Sombrero

A proper Hat, not a Cap

In other words

Nothing a Tomcat would yawn at

If the Hat fell flat off the Hook

Unresponsive

The Hat would say it was the fault of a Democrat

Or a Wombat

Just get used to the floor, it's your new microhabitat.

The man without the spoon*

* Based on a true story;  an hommage to a waitress that was terrorised by spoons.

She was royal 

Plunging her spoon in her tea cup

Fixing her eyes on the mound of sugar

That was melting as if it had received an

Executive Order

Animated 

For distant memories before she landed on a sand dune

Fatigued 

Without a spoon 

Not a drop of tea or hot chocolate

To swirl in the swirling heat

Making a ting-a-ling sound

Like that of a snorkelling King

The Man appears

Dressed in colours from Cameroon 

Speaking like a duck in a cartoon

"I haveth no sthpoon, Queen Mothah"

The Empress looked stricken

Her eyes dropped to the hot sand

"But" the Cameroonian continued, his voice rising

"If you follow me, you may get one."

With that he signalled that she cross the dune with him

She followed

Cursing the Devil

Dreaming of souping and scooping and ice cream ooping

And was never seen again.

Autistic lionets

 We lions pride ourselves on a hardy, hearty breakfast, 

With paws and claws stretching over the 

Checkered red and yellow tablecloth

What better way to start the day

Figuring out a word puzzle, a maze or

Just blowing on a plastic whistle, part of a prize

(Ignoring parental rantings of the day's expectations)

Our cereals were dear to us because

You could get lost in them

Liono's gave us courage

The courage

To live our names 

As we filled our bowls

And crunched and munched

And clawed and drawed 

In 

Dry blooded round rubber

Extra fresh

Tubes responsibly meeting

FDA requirements

Keeping cholesterol in check like 

In a caged zoo

Those sweet inner un-cubes

Had us aghast 

What a blast

Till the day we were told

Liono's will give you worse than a 

Head cold

Finally those autistic symptoms of lions running alone in the 

Jungle

Could be explained:

Liono's are to be blamed.

So go back to the Meat Pack

Y'all

A good breakfast needs

A good drumbeat

Hail, hail! Roar, Roar!

Draga Anya (Dear Mother)

It had to wait 

The passing of the Covid Pandemic

The 50th anniversary of the Apollo Moon landing

The latest version of Call of Duty video game

The George Floyd protests

Lionel Messi leaving Barcelona

The invasion of Ukraine

Gazprom cutting gas to Germany and Europe

It had to wait

Liam and Olivia being voted as most popular Baby names

Talyor Swift winning the Grammy Awards 

A brain implant to read your thoughts was developed 

The release of Dune Part II

LeBron James to get 40,000 points

Finland to be ranked happiest country in the world for the 7th time

Zuckerberg to announce no more fact-checking 

The California wildfires

TickTok crashing for 24 hours

A Riviera plan for Gaza

AND

The first filming of Mesonychoteuthis Hamiltoni, of the family of Colossal Squids, at a depth of 600 meters, by a remotely operated vehicle 

But

We kept your promise

To lay your ashes to rest in the Arno in Firenze.

 

A bosom for a pillow

I’m working on a pill-ow 

that’s moulded  your silhouette  

Spraying, fiddling with a thimble, 

I’m watching a cat POUND its CLAWS  

Into my Grandma’s embroidered Pillow 

Depicting a house  floating at sea,

I took my pill and dreamt of thee

Shame (To the sound of David Bowie's Fame)

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdogoZFqf0U

Shame makes a man think things over

Shame lets him freeze and hard to breathe

Shame puts you on a cross

Shame

Shame is in your brain and you're melting down

It burns your filename to keep you lame

Shame

Shame what you like is on a pillow

Shame  what you like is under  the pillow

Shame what you get is a viral storm

Shame what you need to elbow doing your Joe Blow

Shame

Shame Nein! It's a bee-line to the devil

To endless remind that kiss cam that will drive you to a crime

Shame

Ribbity-bee gah-beh, ribbity-be

Ribbity-ree, ribbit, ribbity-bay

Even my frog is shamed

How could they?

Isn't it any wonder? I suspect you first.

Shame, shame, shame, shame

Isn't it any wonder?

You're too old school for me to retool 

Shame

Bully for you

Fusilli for me

Gotta get a rain check on blushing cheeks

Shame, shame, shame, shame.

Shame, shame, shame, shame.Shame, shame, shame, shame.

Shame, shame, shame, shame.Shame, shame, shame, shame.

Shame,

What your name?

Give me some shame!

The $100 bathing suit

 Purposeful

Thoughtful

The $100 bathing suit was real

Not a lie

A mitochondria of change

Put it on and feel 

The JOY

It's only $100

Recycled fabrics

Re-recycled 

Many parts

Brought together to be a

World of bathing suits 

Enter 

Queer yourself

Untie yourself

Shine within and without 

Those 'spensive trunks

Duckbill orange stitching and elephantine creases

Startling

Join the Plastic Party

There ain't no pool, ain't no ocean

Birds overhead sound moot

Just a swanky suit

Toot, toot, toot!

The first hole

Props:  A Helm, Sailor shirts, a bucket of water,  doughnuts in a metal box

Narrator introduces scene. We are on the SS Gregory off the coast of Rhode Island. It is November 1836 and the weather has turned for the worse. Captain Gregory is at the helm with  Dyrck Van Den Dyrck, his trustworthy Dutch Mate.

"Although this is a historical reenactment of the birth of the first doughnut, some name and or events have been changed. A ressemblance to actual facts may be purely coincidental." 

ACT I

Dyreck Van Den Dyrck (Or DVDD) : Captain, the weather is souring, I mind you, you need to take care! There are rock all over this New England coast.

Captain Gregory: You're right. This ship is swaying so much I feel like I drunk several six packs.

DVDD: You have. Don't you remember last night?

Captain Gregory: That doesn't count Dyreck, what does count is that we've been sailing for two weeks and I've never been so hungry.

DVDD: I hear you, or as we say, "Om te horen". I too am sick of eating those salted sardines.

Captain Gregory: You know something?

DVDD: What?

Captain Gregory: I completely forgot that my mother gave me some of her sweets.

DVDD: Are you kidding? You mean we've been nearly starving all this time and you have you mother's famous delicious pastries on board?

Captain Gregory: Look at the bright side Dyreck. They're made with nuts. Something new. She calls them "Doughnuts".

DVDD: Hark! What a good name, Haa! Once this storm is over lets eat them.

Captain Gregory: Are you kidding. Lets eat them now. The crew is sheltering. We can have them all for ourselves. Go to my cabin, there's a blue box next to my bible. 

DVDD: OK, but you know it's not wise to be snacking whilst this storm may blow us over.

Captain Gregory: I said to get them. That's an order!

Dyreck leaves and comes back with the box. Captain Gregory sings a song by Cardie-B, Drip Drip Drip

The storm gets more intense and Captain Gregory has trouble standing.

Captain Gregory: I'm going to have to dig into that Dutch courage to deal with this Hulking storm Mate.

Can u give me that box?

DVDD hands it over. Captain Gregory carefully pulls out a Doughnut -which has no hole in it. 

Captain Gregory: Aye Ayee Lad! Now this is real Polyunsaturated treat! 

DVDD: Yes, it looks glorious, Captain.

Captain Gregory: Glorious indeed. Holding the doughnut to the sky, "May the Flying Ductchmen bless yey here doughnut, bless and be blessed!

The ship lurches and the doughnut is punctured by the Captain's thumb.

Captain Gregory: AYE AYE!

DVDD: Captain, you made a hole in the doughnut!

Captain Gregory: I'm not blind, son, (holding the punctured doughnut up with his thumb), 

DVDD: Laughing

Captain Gregory: Why are you laughing???

DVDD: Aye, aye, Captain, yur soo funny. The doughnut's got a hole in it!

Captain Gregory: Y'ur right. (He takes 2 and pretends to look through them like a telescope. 

DVDD: Captain, watch them rocks!!!

DVDD takes a bucket and empties it in the Captain's direction. 

END OF ACT I

ACT II

Props: white smocks, microscope, jigsaw (scie sauteuse) knives and pins.

Narrator: It's 2025 and Krspy Kreme is developing a secret doughnut 80 meters underground.

Its researchers are on a race to establish a  transinspirational connectin of Villaceau forms between bagels and doughnuts. The sight is considered safe, yet bunker busting GBU-57 AB bombs, with their laser guidance, are considered capable of making the holes of the "Dobagel" even largers, experts say.

Dr. Turchi is doing a "Dogagel" dissection with Dr. Lang.

Dr. Turhi: Do you notice, Dr. the firmness of the Dobagel?

Dr. Lang:Yes, it has to be firm. Just remember, marketing says...

Dr. Turchi: I don't care what marketing says. The Dobagel is our invention. Nobody can take her away from us.

Dr Lang: Dr Turchi, we want Doughnut and Bagel lovers to opt for a Dobagel. But why the her pronoun?

Dr. Turchi: She, she is everything we have dreamed possible. She is the St. Michal of the Virgin Mary.

Dr Lang: And if "she" is Trans? 

Dr. Truchi: Stop being so woke, will you? 

Dr Turchi takes a jigsaw and cuts the doughnut in half.

Dr. Turchi; Do u see how the hole reacts?

Dr. Lang: Yes I do, just like in the bagel. Are you sure we are safe here?

Dr. Turchi: Them bunker busters can't pierce granite, and we have a 2m concrete wall that will protect us in case. Why are you so worried?

Dr Lang If the Dobagel recipe is stolen by the competition, we are fried. Since they know we take precautions, they prefer to eliminate the brains behind this research.

Poem/Song on bunker busters

If you have a great idea

And you know its better than all of Judea

Get a Bunker buster

If you're son has gone woke

And he's evoking that THEY  pronoun 

Get a Bunker Buster

If AI has put your face in a Deep fake

And made you say things that you regret for your first date

Get a Bunker Buster

If your dream to acquire Greenland has gone bust 

Even though you had the cash for the Hinterland

Get a Bunker Buster.

ACT III

Two generals are planning the deployment of the bunker busters to eliminate the Dobagel project.

Colonel Cluster: General Adjustor, are you ready for the Bunker Buster?

General Adjustor: Colonel Cluster, you know as well as I, Krispy Kreme can't 

go forward with their Dobagel.

Colonel Cluster. When we're finished with them General, there's going to be so much Kreme

sprayed over the Everest, them mountain climbers will be licking their way to the top.

General Adjustor Your so sick I love ya Colonel. "Ping!"

Colonel Cluster What was that?

General Adjustor Just a message from my Whatsapp.

Colonel Cluster I thought yous was banned from that App.

General Adjustor: Dig this: on the terms of service it says you ain't allowed to deliver arms of mass destruction. Ever hear shit like that?

Colonel Cluster That is gnarly General. 

General Adjustor It took me 6 months of emails "on my knees", and finally some Bot let me back on the platform. Any precautions we need to take for this mission?

Colonel Cluster  Make sure the pilots of the B2 bombers keep it clean.

General Adjustor You mean over secure lines, how they talk?

Colonel Cluster  Exactly. Just what happened with you.  AI's in charge, even if a pilot talks about how he was mean to his dog, AI could shut down the mission.

General Adjustor I get it. We're dropping 8 Bunker Busters Colonel Cluster, gonna blast the Dobagel enrichment project into smithereens, Colonel Cluster, Colonel Cluster, you hear me?

MUSIC, end of ACT III

The beaten knife

The 2000 year old knife was found by a Luddite child

Rusted, covered with muck

And on close observation the blunt end was hammered or beaten

The marks had puzzled experts deciphering its meaning

Most knives made in the Gen X period 

Were smooth 

Yet the region where the knife was found that used to 

Be called Switzerland

Known for its 

Hard Cheese 

Pumpkins

And Watches

The archeologists decided to imitate their diet by having one group eat

Raclette and Pumpkin gratin for 6 months

And another group 

Do the same thing while wearing Rolex watches.

The simulation was arduous, yet the findings revealed  both groups

Developed 

Acute Tendonitis 

Cutting hard cheese and pumpkins on a daily basis meant

The knives had to be super sharp however

Even so it was 

Radical living

Yet the act of repetitive slicing was -if anything

A recipe for sore tendons in their arms and shoulders.

Hence, for a population suffering of the sort

The logical step was to take a mallet and 

Bang Bang Bang!

Hit the blunt side of the knife

Until the aforementioned Hard Cheese or Pumpkin

(And some pumpkins were found be be harder than Cheese and

vice a versa)

Would be sliced without ado

The watches most certainly helped in the timing of the 

Chopping up

And down time.

How smart GenX was, no one would have guessed

They were resilient and reactive

Having little or no muscle from spending years in front of

Screens

They lacked protein

Bang beat-beating on the backside of a  knife,  their lives

Depended  on it.

Dating Seahorses and the caged fish

It was after a divorce

Bert the Seahorse was taking an 

Open Source Correspondence course

On Seahorses potential for manufacturing 

Rose quartz

There he met Elena

So different, so fresh

She could intertwine her tail like an acrobat

She swam through sharp coral reefs without a

Hard hat

Her eyes were crystalline 

Her skin taught over her fragile bones

Bert invited her for a shrimp salad course

And he wanted to show how his hippocampus was 

Developed

Yet every time he thought of hippocampus

The word Hippopotamus came out of his mouth

(The audience repeats Hippopotamus 5 times)

Hippopotamus! Hippopotamus! Hippopotamus! Hippopotamus! Hippopotamus!

"Hippocampus!" -interjects Burt

"Can you see my memory?" looking at Elena and pointing at his head

She looked flustered 

And as they awaited the UberEats delivery

And waited

And waited

He recited the 25,000 types of fish

Which included their addresses and 

Zip Codes

Elena's tail twisted so hard

It could have strangled a horned toad.

Elena looked down at Burt so hard

He thought his brain would explode

It was a good hour when

The delivery fish arrived with an injury -a missing fin

Said a water pump in a fish tank sucked him

And banged him against the head of a fake deep sea diver

The shrimp salad was 

Butchered

"Elena, Elena, don't go!"

But Bert wanted to show his Seahorsehood to his date

So he threw the yellow delivery fish into

A caged box

A timed punishment without a tip

And a negative comment on the App

Would it save the courtship?

Would it crumble in a blip?

Could Elena find another shrimp to stick up?

"Bert, Bert find me some fresh grub!

Your hippocampus might not suck

But that shrimp ain't enough!"

And the Yellow fish

That BAD Yellow fish

(That passing fish starred at

Wondering what BAD it had done?)

It better, it better

Be better off making subway sandwiches

In a sub.

Sinners and Dimmers: story of a Light bulb flickering uncontrollably awaiting an angel.

Audience divided in 3 groups and say out loud:  1) poire" 2)pomme" and "courgette" 3) and  4)"This is a world or Sinners and Dimmers"  when directed.

(Explain that these are the forms on new lightbulbs today.

Intro:

The poet, following an electrician guide,  goes high and low, a hellish journey with tense emotions, seeking 

the elusive lightbulb with 1200 lumens.

A second electrician, dressed in red, tells  him that he can use this 3400 lumens bulb with a dimmer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I can variate the frequency!

I can variate the frequency!

All you need to do is change the Schneider circuit breakers to Holms 

Which

Doubling input  roaming voltage frequency 

and lowering the Amps

Can supersede the oncoming flickering glare

Like that of a suspicious silhouette of a lonely car on the road

Moving slowly at night as a scantily dressed lady impatiently waits at 

A dark bus stop, stares fixedly at the blaring headlights.

"I can't see!"

          --------------------------------------------------

"But why 1200 lumens?" Wonders the electrician dressed in white.

"A Lightbulb Tourist 

I Am" Insists the Poet,

4)"This is a World of Sinners and Dimmers" (Repeat x 5)

I have gone from store to store, from country to country, seeking

Lumens, dimmers, variators

 -because the light has to be...

I can't describe it, subtle?

And 3600 Lumens  in the form of a 

1) POIRE  2)Pomme    3) COURGETTE" (Audience repeats 3 times)

(Why make a bulb like a courgette?) Is too much!"

"Relax", said the electrician, "If not you too shall be 

Fli-Flickering                        (hitting the remote control)

And Snickering 

Talking like a film noir detective

Having lost trace of that one Lightbulb that 

Got away."

"Got away? Was it too disguised as a Tourist?" asked the Poet

"But I saw it, I had it in my own hands!"

And why a 1) POIRE? (Audience says Poire)

Poet: "It's rounded like Babar,

It could be in a Church, a Museum

Lighting up a painting that leaves 

Tourists fein-fa-fa-feinting.

(Poet's voice starts to break up like a flickering lightbulb)

But why are you fading?" The Poet turns towards the electrician,

"I dreamt I saw -there was an alarmà- a Cookie Monster -a burgler... his cookies all on the floor!"

"You're fa-fading, those wires, is that the di-dimmer?

"The cookies were crushed, it was at the Vatican."

Can you he-hear the Po-Pope singing "Urbi et Orbi?"

Do-don't didn'tay fi-find 'dose cookies in the dark?

"Indulgentiam, absolutionem, et remissionem ominum peccatorum vestrorum, spatium verae et fructuossae paenitentiaeeee"

In the Da-da-dark? Did ya see? Did ya hear? It's flickering in da-da-dark!"

"I lost the si-si-signal

I am lost!"

POIRE! APPLE! Courgette!  (Audience 1,2,3)

CLOSING Narrator:

As you can see, no Angel came to the rescue, no Angel could anti-flicker those lumens made to act in an irrational way. 

And so I ask you a moment of silence for all Circuit Breakers, fuses, Sinners and Dimmers.

(Je vous demande une moment de silence pour tous disjoncteurs et fusibles, des pêcheurs et variateurs.)

END