Friday, June 19, 2020

Subatomic Laundry

(My sincere appreciation goes to Dennis Overbye who wrote an article in the New York times on the Grand Sasso Laboratory in Italy.)


            Photo by Tommaso Guicciardini

I live at the Gand Sasso Nuclear Laboratory in Assergi

Often I don't see the light of the day since

Work is underground and I spent 10 years on

The Cuore, Cobra and Cupid projects, been there, done that.

When I go home I've absorbed so many neutrinos that

I take an antacid before going to bed.

I love Grand Sasso, the Big Rock

And I would love it more if not for the stains that

I get on my designer shirts and jeans.



So for my fellow scientists, I've developed a formula for

Laundry:


  • Take one cup of liquid xenon 
  • A spoonful of axions
  • A sprinkle of neutrinos 
  • A 1/4 cup of tritium
Use the "Magic 4000" cycle and if dark spots still appear

Rub a photomultiplier ointment into the affected area

Expose the tainted garment to the sun for 20 minutes an 6.8844002 seconds

or

If cloudy, a strong magnetic field will do.


For wool and synthetics 

Double the tritium

Wash for 12.8 years

Remember

Cosmically reflective shirts should be smoked

In dark matter and rinsed with enough axions

To regain all their splendor.


Saturday, June 13, 2020

The Dreaming Mailman

Been Mailman for 44 years
I've got less than one to go before I retire
So I thought I would share for all of your
Ears
(One ear at a time
Only the truth is worth a dime)
And I apologize if you can feel that I'm
Beginning to perspire.

Many say to be a mailman is kinda hypnotic
My wife says I'm neurotic but
Let me explain:

On the job we gotta concentrate
And pretend we got blinders on like a horse
So to ignore the barking dog, the latest viruses
Always paying attention to the cracks in the sidewalk
To deliver what the folk want: their mail.

In June 1976, six months after I took the job,
I was suffering from recurrent dreams of
Not delivering the mail or
Delivering it to the wrong address
Always the same wrong address:
2767  Court street, Brooklyn NY 11231

It was the address of a store my Mom used to take me to
Where you could buy Ladybugs and Preying Mantises
Insects that would take care of your garden problems
And we would always be going back there because
The Lady bugs were out of stock

My shrink told me to project myself before
The start of the day
To project and think how I successfully would deliver
All those envelopes
To the address holders who
Waiting to rip 'em open -often without a proper envelope opener
With the smooth edges of a butter knife-
Would barely notice my blue uniform with black shiny shoes.

Therefore, after six months I found a spot
400 yards from the main distribution center where
I could lay
Rain or shine, snow or sleet
In my favorite mailbox and dream.

                                                                                                 Photo by Melissa Zexter

I dreamt.
I dreamt of delivering each and every letter
I dreamt of hearing the soles of my shoes creak as I approached
The last steps leading to the doormat
I dreamt of dogs who would sit regal and observe my passing and
Viruses that would hide under the mat as I arrived
And real stamps that would stick to the lick of saliva
I dreamt.

I knew that I dreamt of my friends that I had lost touch with
Friends who were not always still pacing this earth
And I also dreamt of people who had their hearts warmed by
Reading a few scribbly lines
An emotion
Captured like in the spider's web of love.

Yet some of my dreams were laced in evil
People waiting for a letter in hope to
Conspire
And plot an illusion
and plot confusion
That would spread well beyond 11231.

Yesterday, my last dream
-Dreams because they were multiple-
Went like such:

A man, ready to spill his soul at
A computer guised as a confessional
The camera was hidden in the cross and
The voice required the man to wear a bag
On his head and it said:
"Why did you make bats smarter than preying mantises?"
In vain the bagged man tried to press "alt + delete"




Then there was a loving couple looking over towards the Twin Towers from Staten Island
They too had bags on their heads
The skylight was fading yet
They could not sense it
Only the crackling of the paper
Made their love alive


The last dream was in a loop
I was in a Woolworth's eating a
99 cent Chili
Wearing a checkered paper bag I
Could not see the display of
Hypnotically spinning cakes
Overloaded with sugars and fats

I was in this Woolworth everyday and
For some reason they would not change the menu
It was always the Chili for 99 cents

Perhaps I wanted to reach for a cake that
I could certainly smell through my checkered bag
I could reach and touch the locked display
The plastic keeping those magnificent cakes intact

The Chili smearing over the edges of my plate
I knew
I knew I would have to write about it
Before the rain would fall and
Get the envelopes wet.




Saturday, June 6, 2020

Domination is for you and me





I want my Baby Born to Dominate its Space

Dominate streets


Ogling the cops on the beat

Dominate his Mama

And never retreat


I want my Baby to be the Supreme Force

To ignore those who wish to endorse

And drive hard on the golf course


I want my baby to show Command and Control

To burn a big hole with coal

To wipe out the souls for those who

Think life is a stroll


I need my Baby to overpower the Old

And be uncontrolled

Unleashing power that shall make the

Aged cower and show them who lives in

The Tower of Power


My fearless Baby will subdue CEOs and CFOs

It will tear the hair out of a foe in the snow

And rip the hearts out of

Women in throngs


Baby will scoff at animals in need of nourishment

And  scoff at forest fires and firenados

And firefighters in need of chastisement


My sweet, perfect Baby will dictate and gratify

its supreme Id

It will spit at impotence

and clobber those chained

Smothering all those who refuse to be restrained.