I get up early and arrange my gizmos
Floaters, tubes, baskets, watches, jewelry
faux Gucci faux fendi with real glitz
I gather these things with a number of new Italiano
words picked up on the beach "Poco Caro, ti piace?"
I mouth the r's as I tie the balloons to my walking stick
"Signora, ti piace?" sometimes does the trick.
I walk on the sand
I walk on my heels
I walk like a warrior
Who has run out of appeals
Brazen, I carry my balloons full to the hilt
The breeze from the ocean agitates them like a virus
I am towering, visible like a lighthouse that weebles in every direction
Yet invisible to thousands of beachgoers, as if I had an infection.
I am aped
Made fun of
A child runs in front of me, pretends to be Tarzan
So I show him my urban hero, a yellow-belted Batman.
The beach is my highway
Straight with no detours
It gives me time to think of my love, my home
And Amanpour's news tours.
I get home feeling toasted
And fall into a dream:
It's a modern Tarzan in the jungle with Jane
She's tweeting on her iPhone while swinging on a vine,
"Kowbunga dudettes, boy pumped up. New microwave,
gnarly programs and bell ding dong lol!"
And Tarzan while riding a rocky Rhino tweets:
"If Cheetah could say "I love u" that would be awesome."
They take the elevator tree whose cable is pulled by an elephant
But then I feel pressure on my neck and I am gasping for air
It is a hand holding my head
Pushing me under water, forcing me to swear.
"You must take Amazon Prime" says the hand
My arms flail like my balloons in the wind
"You must have Prime!" it shouts.
Then a lawyer appears holding a thumb in his hand
"You forgot this on the beach."
"I, I forgot.."
"Yes, and Viareggio Beach House is suing you because
the Marchese Santo Pallone found it and threw up her
entire shrimp salad."
Then, I wake up with a glorious Tarzan cry,
aaahuaaa uaaa uaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Going to brush my teeth I see
The Amazon Prime Card on the floor.
