The Mozzarella Slot Machine

 

Buffalo Country

Or more precise call it Bison Bedrock

In Campania

If you're looking for a white ball of 

Titillating cheese

That has more substance than

Antifreeze

Go to Campania

Go see the bisons getting massaged 

Maserated 24/7

Each and every one discretely vetted 

Indoctrinated 

Las Vegas style

into 

THE BEST MOZZARELLA THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

I have seen it with my own eyes

Chewed it with my own teeth

Thought about writing a novella

Dedicated my children to toil

Under the hot sun using a

Simple umbrella in one hand

A brush in the other

To bathe those dark-skinned horned 

Beasts and give them the 

Cuddly "Cinderella". 

All those delicate white cheese

Balls

Made by delicate hands

In delicate milky conditions

In the Mozzarella room  the director whispers, "Hush! Don't talk."

Wearing a tie with a Buffalo on it, he continues,

"This is how we run a  bosomy cheesy multi-national business,

The production goes here on a  

White marble table and then shipped around the world 

With a few Tomatoes. 

So what is the big deal?

Oh Mozzarella

If one pulls on the slot machine

One Cow, One Bison, One Farmer One Mozzarella

Two Cows, one Bison, One Farmer

One Cow, Two Bisons, One Mozzarella

Three Farmers, One Mozzarella

Four Mozzarellas, a buffalo and a bottle of Valpolicella!

Chi-ching!

In Mozzarella country

Millions ring

The cash litters the Horizon

Whilst the public chews, chews and chews.

The Turtle Crossing

                                                         

                                           (Picture by M. Zexter)

Nobody likes to be double crossed

Especially a Turtle at a Turtle crossing

As I was making my way in New Hampshire

I passed a Coon, Frog and Deer crossing

This fourth crossing -our family crossing-

Was coming soon

Getting into the Express Lane

I got caught in a quagmire

An unexpected puddle and mud 

Be-stilled me

It -the Mud- made its way up my shell

I squiggled and shook

Looking like an exotic dancer.

Indeed as Mom looked at me from behind

I was the butt of all jokes

And had she Instagrammed or Tick Toked me 

What might seem like a Turtle doing a backstroke in a noisy night club

I would have had to bear the  mental anguish spearing,  sending fraught into  my Turtle brain

For Light Years to come.

So thank you Mom for taking me to the Turtle Crossing

A safe haven in Turtle Speak

You, reader, may find me meek

But come on, touch the  multiple folds of my skin

Part of my original physique 

And next time, turn my shell so I may head for the creek

And cross, and cross

Feeling the strength of an Ancient Greek.

Do u futz?

 

Everyone loves to futz around

One needn't any guts

The pleasure increases with each futz

But how to measure it/them?

A stopwatch would only disrupt the limits

The sound of a Futzometer" is that of 1000 crickets

As the process of futzing is libertarian 

Hence any structure would be nuts

And that would make you a putz

Not accepting any advice

Hear me out: the is GOOD futzing and BAD futzing

Want to be the butt of the party?

Forgot to tuck your baby into bed?

Too worried that Time has run out?

Just be a proud futz!

Wear it on your chest, on a gold necklace

Show yourself

Strut down the street

You may be in for a treat

Ya futz!

Beavertown in Egypt

The Beaver is making his digs

Indirectly assisting Hippos ferrying over 

Desert Dunes near the banks amongst twigs

What? A new pipeline crossing, Dude!

Floating on the Nile the 

Beaver slaps its tail

It booms 

The sound from that slap sends 

Fear across its neighbours

A tail always ready to whack

A tail threatened can overreact.

What to do?  What for? 

Spit out some Cold Peanuts -or just any plain ol' nut 

Step and crunch on it

There's a buzz overhead 

Just by the shore.

Fire! Bang Bang! Let's even the score.

We are south of the Straight of Hormuz

This courageous beaver,

Swims underwater -without a snorkel

Bubbling, artfully making a comeback to the shores

Drones above hardly take notice

Hey! Was it their noise, another sottise! 

Good swimmers, beavers learn to steer and navigate with their tail

And on land, they "tail up" to gain a few inches to gnaw down a tree

Or just gnaw to gnaw

When in Ancient Egypt beaver damns flooded the 

Bathroom of Queen Cleopatra

And plumbers didn't know how to deal with the

Glug, glug, glug.

It was said weeks were needed 

To debug her drain that was full of slugs

Today our Beaver  paddles through oily  waters 

In a military zone where

Hydrocarbons seep into its thick fur.

At night this industrious Egyptian mammal 

Dreams 

Not of green forests nor polka dot mushrooms, 

Rather of large pipes seeping black oil on the sand that reflect a dark sky 

Dreams of oil tankers without

Transponders going Ping! Ping! Ping!

The beaver hears a splash and  squints its eyes 

It sees an upside down black duck

Dunking its orange beak into the murky waters

The usual

Then it edges towards a metal door emitting a low sounding buzz 

It's an uranium cache, 

a good place to spend the night

And snuggle against the desert's cold

Yet weeks later the beaver's tail glows in the darkness

Even the silent hippos take notice of the freaky scenario

The hard working  beaver knows there is a price to pay 

Hormuz, a household name, is a nightmare

The furry vessel knows it is traversing a critical line 

Eat, eat, its Mum would say

Some crispy scarabs and chewy worms will do

Kismet has it that this mighty animal is always 

Humble of its achievements.

Just examine its teeth shining from having chewed through a recent pipeline.

 

The Croissant on the Fence

 

I lived in a house

A fenced in house 

That gently divided me from my friendly neighbour Anne

And since so friendly she was

On Sunday mornings

I

Swung by the bakery 

Always picking up  and extra croissant for Anne

For Anne delighted in each delivery 

Flowering me with French expressions of gratitude 

"Oui, vous êtes trop gentil, monsieur!"

This lasted some years till one day Anne was gone

An unexpected move that nobody saw

Her back yard that she always attended to was empty

Her cat, Mimi, that she always watched over and 

Went on little walks with as if it were a dog

Was nowhere to be heard or seen

A winter season after Anne's departure

I was set to leave on my bike

(The Sunday croissant was never a question

Crispy and light, with a fine slab of butter and jam)

And there, low and behold

Was a Croissant

Poked between the fence's stakes 

No Anne

No Mimi

Just a fresh Croissant waiting to be loved and chewed.

Cleopatra and Alysa Liu

I Cleopatra! 

The daughter of Ptolemy the 12th

Known by many for I rolled myself up in a carpet to get to meet the Emperor Caesar 

Who? These days I dream of Alysa Liu!

Her spinning on ice

Her broader than cat smile

Her squiggly golden tiger stripes

Making waves in her hair

Why should I ever accept being my brother's heir? 

Tempestuous, fulminating bastardly brat 

That 

Ptolemy XIII 

Boring as a doormat! 

I Cleopatra! 

The Queen of Kings!

Need something cool like

Skating

Around the Giza in the form of Pie

Skating with

Alisa Liu 

Just stick a blade on my shoe

And lets shove off onto 

This mammouth deposited Siberian Ice 

My priest says

He's afraid I shall fall

Sprain a vein and cry

For healing before Horus's House

This Queen only prays

To follow Alysa to the dance hall

And smile her smile

And scoop up Caesar 

And Mark-Anthony on the way.

All is good Alysa Liu

Who

at 22 

Could sashay her gold medal 

Doing a routine

As tricky as the most complex Egyptian tattoo

Too, too, you deserve a cereal box with your

Name on it too.

Positon for the Directer of Human Torture

 In Ancient Egypt

On papyrus 

A job opening for a director of human torture

Was deciphered 

To restore a lost sense of pride from the previous director

Who contented himself with stuffing something like 

100 Q-tips up the nose

This temple cleaning resulted in the hiring of 

Amenemhat, a truly self-important supporter of

the Pharaoh 

Mind you

A type who came home chiming

"Honey, I found a new nail to drive through adult skulls"

(This is when he was an intern, a greenhorn at the job. )

Hence Amenemat was a progressive chap

Slaves had to be harnessed

Broken but not too much

Threatened yet offered a little light

A chance for their freaky misadventure 

That would lead them to become avatars

Represented on stone reliefs for millennia 

Amenemhat prepared for the interview

He knew a bad showing could commit himself to being a slave

He conjectured it was worth it

Even if it meant ending up in a pigs grave.

He spoke in the highest terms with regard to Horus

He made a drawing of a new torture device 

And the job was awarded with a nod from

Anubis

 The contract was signed even though the job didn't offer

Health care 

And under the blazing Sun

He walked out of the temple feeling like a 

Billionaire.