Bee Bat or Mouse Poem
By James Lang
4 characters :Georges-Louis Leclerc de Buffon,naturalist, biologist and philosopher, Etienne de Condillac, philospher and author of Traité des Animaux, Sephen Jay Gould, evolutionary biologist, paleontologist and writer and Jacques Derida, philosopher.
Imagine Etienne de Condillac driving a white Cadillac convertible
With red leather seats
He is discussing Bees with
Buffon, who is taking in the Bellevue Streets
As the car radio reports on Colorado drug dogs on the dole
Buffon, chewing gum, has a problem with
The bees hexagon
“It’s automatic” he yelps, leaning over to Condillac,
And Condillac agrees but disagrees while watching an
Electric scooter shoot up a sidewalk.
“Bees are craftsmen, they control the design
And they do it without God’s help.”
“And they do too…it without a soul” snickered Buffon.
Condillac hits the brakes at a pedestrian crossing.
Two men, one skinny and white haired, the other sporting
A moustache and a fleshy, bulbous nose, are traversing and discussing bats:
Derida: “A bat is an idealized creature, in China 5 bats is a blessing!”
“And in Europe they are vampires!” said Gouldin an omniscient demeanor.
“But did you know their heartbeat can go from 20 beats per minute to
1300?”
“When they’re having sex?” (Derida)
“When they’re flying!” (voice dropping)
Buffon leans over and honks the horn. HOOOONK!
“Bougez, bougez!”
“You act like an ‘ani-mot’” shouted Derida
“And you are a soulless punk” said Condillac, his fingers playing with his beehive hair.
“Someone should put both of you in a mousetrap” sneered Gould
His hedgehog mustache looking more abrasive than ever.
“I forgot to write volume 37, entitled, “Natural Losers” sputtered Buffon, and at that Condillac stepped on the gas, and the Cadillac screeched off in the opposite direction of Webster University.
