Saturday, March 28, 2026

Positon for the Directer of Human Torture


 In Ancient Egypt

On papyrus 

A job opening for a director of human torture

Was deciphered 


To restore a lost sense of pride from the previous director

Who contented himself with stuffing something like 

100 Q-tips up the nose


This temple cleaning resulted in the hiring of 

Amenemhat, a truly self-important supporter of

the Pharaoh 

Mind you

A type who came home chiming

"Honey, I found a new nail to drive through adult skulls"

(This is when he was an intern, a greenhorn at the job. )


Hence Amenemat was a progressive chap

Slaves had to be harnessed

Broken but not too much

Threatened yet offered a little light

A chance for their freaky misadventure 

That would lead them to become avatars

Represented on stone reliefs for millennia 


Amenemhat prepared for the interview

He knew a bad showing could commit himself to being a slave

He conjectured it was worth it

Even if it meant ending up in a pigs grave.

He spoke in the highest terms with regard to Horus

He made a drawing of a new torture device 

And the job was awarded with a nod from

Anubis


 The contract was signed even though the job didn't offer

Health care 

And under the blazing Sun

He walked out of the temple feeling like a 

Billionaire.





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