Tomatoes and boiler

At a time of the year when my tomato plant roots usually are reaching into the ground

Reaching past busy worms who 

Know not what is the time of day

Who care not for holidays

Or working conditions for that matter

This time of year

I found myself scrambling

Potting my tomatoes from one pot to another

Ever larger -a reverse Russian doll ritual-

And apologizing every morning to a slightly wilting crowd 

That I could not, must not, dare not

Plant them in the garden for

Inclement rains and tomato-breaking winds were on the way.

And during this unusual climatic journey

That went against the news of another chunk of Ice 

That had cracked into the ocean,

My boiler cracked:

One repairman, two repairman, three repairman later

Electronic pieces and devices were replaced like hot cakes

Yet the boiler kept breaking down.

So every morning, even before I would say good morning to my tomatoes

I had to run down to see the boiler

Reset the time, the date and restart 

The CD player to play Mozart's symphonie 41, Jupiter

And read Dante to the boiler in hope that somehow

Despite its defective state of mind

It would come to reason

Because Beatrice never committed treason

And freezing bees avoid preseason outings

When nectars are  too cold or

Just not sticky yet.

After 2 weeks of this tense rocambolesque activity

Yesterday I planted the tomatoes and

Like some miracle

The boiler started working again

The connection being all too obvious. 

The Whooze

 

After travelling high and low -an Alpine adventure

I've got the shot 

I've got the whooze

The feeling goes down to my shoes

For weeks I was less than enthused

As politicians tried to defuse the potential

Side-effects of this and that vaccine.

My whooziness  reveals

The truth about my Covid arm 

Is it is sore, a wound, a contusion

Only under this iceberg of sore lies

Billons of human cells 

That switched to a manufacturing center

An mRNA production facility that on a molecular level spreads

Over a larger surface than all Amazon warehouses put together.

Today it is not only my body readying for a Corona foul play

Around the  globe we see 

In Mexico next to a cactus, the vaccine is given to a Padre

In Iceland to a dancer at the local cabaret

And in Mongolia to a man who preferred to ignore his tooth decay.

As proteins race around my body

I am tempted to celebrate with some booze

To soothe the whooze -remember?

And that bruise

And hopefully soon end my days as a recluse

Or a hermit longing for a ticket anywhere on the horizon

Soon I shall stop mending buttons and socks

To finally reset Time on my clock

And rekindle connections

That today are fuzzy recollections.

"The Shot" or a Covid Dream of hope

A line snaked around the corner of an old barbershop 

Walled with mirrors

Black and white tiles 

In the corner a nurse is holding a mallet with melting

Blue ice packs poking out of the casing 

Like a backhand in tennis she deftly hands over the needle to the Dr. 

Who is sporting 2 hairy, shaky forearms 

Misjudging his target

-an 80 something lady sitting the barber chair in a reclining positon-

We see half of the precious serum spilling onto the floor that

Is already puddled with a small lake of serum and

Hundreds of vials, some broken, strewn on the floor

(Modrna, Astra, Sinovac, Phizah)

Is this the Center of a crazy Miser?

My turn has come 

The nurse throws me toilet paper, points to the floor and barks,

"Hands and knees!"

I dutifully seek to soak the serum on the floor

It smells of nano-particles and m-RNA

I hand back the saturated ball of TP to the nurse who

Is now donning yellow latex gloves

She squeezes it into an empty vial and

Pulling out a needle form a haystack 

Slowly fills the empty cylinder 

Hands it to the Dr who is pushing the lady 

Off the chair and 

Now the hairy forearms wave me to take a seat

And I hear my shoes cross the wet floor.

"Once my nose crawled like a snail on the glass" a nod to Robert Lowell

Once my nose crawled like a snail on the glass I

Smelled pop corn popping over and autumn breeze as

Venus rounded the Sun at 48 degrees

Once my nose crawled like a snail on the glass I

Took a wiff of peppercorns as

They cracked out of their mill and

Smelled Grandma's armpits sweating from 

Grinding refills

Once my nose crawled like a snail on the glass

My salivary glands danced around a plate of melted brie whilst

Driving bumper to bumper in noxious tunnel fumes

In a new olive green 77 Dodge that mirrored my father's showroom.

Before I lost my smell, before I lost my smell,

I would eat eggs with their eggshells

Do barbells and

Run like a gazelle

Today, my impotent nose renders me

Tasteless and rundown

I quit my job

Managing a Scottish carousel

Where horses spun wearing tartans

Chasing whales chasing krill chasing Martians.

Mute me

Mute me

Toot-toot me

Silence the contradiction in me

Today I follow my route

To coif my toff

Ignoring the barber's

Whooping cough

Outside

Molotovs burn over systemic racism and

I want to say  ----------- (mute)

Why did you press that button 

As if my words were rotten?

After my cut I stroll to the mailbox

Circling it with Tango steps and the nervy

Focus of a Matador with a stiff back

Sniffing for the blood of a Ballot ---------------(mute)

You mute! You mute! You mute!

We are not on Crested Butte

Running from the police in 

Hot pursuit

Wearing a double breasted Union suit

Mushing Alaskan Malamutes over

938 miles in 8 days and 3 hours and 22 minutes because

Of a quick undisclosed stop in a house of

Ill repute.

How dare your criticize my ideas when

I am the one to give the boot

And ----------------- (mute) 

Again! Left wing radical pedophiles --------- (mute)

Speechless

Now, calmly descending a golden parachute

My voice is muffled by the wind

Conspiracies will never be silenced  and 

The lights remain dim 

The Constitution says I may

Overstep, overreach, and butt in

Free speech baby

The mastermind of mankind

Superman baby

(mute)

I bet your tongue is burning with Corona fever 

Hotter than a beaver

You cut my sentences with a cleaver

That's the sign of an underachiever!

Go ahead, press the mute

You shall receive a squeeze of banana passion fruit

And invite flies to do business as usual

Toot-toot!

I can't wait, or A painful vote

 Waiting

Awaiting 

For that tidal wave to pass

And the elections to declare a 

Winner

I can't wait.

What can I do?

Hibernate for 3 days, 30  or 300 days?

Drink myself into a haze?

Or on my sandwich, spread some 

Extra Russian mayonnaise?

I can't wait.

Of course, seriously speaking, 

Let me spend this remaining time

Before the elections

Spending much more than a dime

Buying more than 

All that is sublime.

I wish to run myself

Into the depths of a rabbit hole

Than no rabbit has seen before

I wish to occupy my neurons

By E-spending so much on Amazon that

Delivery vans will line up for miles around my house.

Surely my wife and children will offer me 

Mediation crash courses and

Herbal tea remedies to

Moderate my spending spree that is

Only putting the family in danger.

Surely they will say: 

"Win or lose, red or blue,

Stop acting like a teenager!"

But today my heart feels the tension

Of a land rupturing from coast to coast

It is a witches brew that could have come from

The hand of Shakespeare

"Double double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and caldron bubble."

There is no doubt there will be trouble

Yet I am not strong enough to

Beat back the snake that is strangling

My country

Tis of thee.

Elephant Crossing the Alps

It had only 3 legs but preferred to hop on

One

Before it lay the Alps and

Snow reflecting the blazing sun.

Hop, hop, hop

The elephant had to hop

Flop, flop, flop 

Went young climbers in their flip-flops 

Pretending to be detectives

Working on directives 

Of the Pope and the Nation

And Twitter's agitation

To bring it back to the Vatican.

Without a peanut or clump of grass

The nameless elephant hopped towards 

The Mont Blanc

Approaching the Aiguille Trè la Tête

A mouse scurried down from

The glacier of Bionnassay

At 2760 meters the rodent slid down at increasing

Speed and

Slammed itself into the 

One hopping leg of the elephant with no name.

There was a "woosh" and a "smoosh" 

The terrified beast slipped and fell

The glacier went "crack" and

The elephant exclaimed "This is wack!"

And the mouse's brains exited like 

An eggshell.

Going with the flow 

The elephant whizzed down and veered 

Towards France and arrived

Celebrated as a hero 

In Chamonix.

The mayor invited it for a beer

Rich in malt and hops

And said "Crossing the Alps was tops"

One could also hear

Pops

From bottles of Champagne

Such a feat hadn't taken place since

Triceratops.