Dearest D, (text #31, 7:20 am)
I wanted to say from the first day that I set eyes on you on Insta, you were the one. Never have a touch such a soft, bouncy, dough ball, and with a hole in it!
Greasy but not too greasy, can expand, swell in size whilst dunked, your talents exceeds all my expectations! So dope!
Dear, Dear B (text #55, 8:58 am)
Thank you for your sweet words, so Gucci.
When my Uncle said I should marry a bagel I thought he was joking.
But when I imagined meeting u in Philadelphia, u were smiling at me, with that white, pure smear of cream cheese, gently smeared between your halves, looking at me with such pure sincerity that my donut walls were about to burst.
Beloved D, (text #74 10:17 am)
It seems like an eternity since we last spoke. TBH 237 text messages a day are just not enough. It all goes so fast. Send me more pictures, recount feeling of how it is to be dunked in hot coffee 100 times a day. Just because I'm a bagel doesn't mean that I won't understand.
Yours always,
Da Bagel
My "so sick Bagel", (text # 90, 11:10 am)
You make me out to be a hero, in text #158 you compared me to Beowulf
but you should know my skin is not as thick as his. However, you, having had your
doughy self boiled and then backed, are a true warrior whose courage never ceases to impress me.
If I were a bagel, I would ride over the highest peaks, put myself at the disposal of shipwreck victims of the Titanic. You can do so with a wave of cream cheese, YOLO.
My only Doughnut, (text # 114, 11:53 am)
It has been a busy morning. One of my colleagues was insulted because a client said he was so hard that she called him a "Jurassic Bagel". People are so unforgiving these days. Do they even know, how, 60,000 years ago Bagels looked like? (Hint, we were not round.) I hope those who dunk you know what they have between their fingers.
Thinking of you always,
xo
BAY-GEL! (text #115, 11:54 am)
That is sooo insulting! But we get lots of attitude as well in this business. Once I had some nail varnish drip onto my cinnamon crust and I almost passed out. Know that however crusty you may be on the outside, I know you're all mush on the inside.
My sweetest Dough-Dough, (text #162, 2:05 pm)
Lunchtime just zapped by today. Texting you and smearing the creme cheese made the rush go by even smoother. How did I manage for so long not knowing that a doughnut soulmate was out there supporting me? My life was Vanilla.
Yours always,
Big B
Big B (text #177, 2:58 pm)
I almost choked on my own doughnut because the last 23 texts were so emotional. No one has ever made me feel that way. I think when we meet I will let u roll on top of me, but just for a minute, I first want you to meet my parents before this gets more serious.
My only D (text #178, 2:59 pm)
Of course one minute would be even too much! Who do you think I am? I would never take advantage of you, but it would be nice to see if our holes align. Please, give me the names of your parents so I can write them a text.
My hot, fierce B-flame, (text #212, 4:17 pm)
I have had to take a little nappy, I was feeling dough-nutted out.
Dad is Morris and mom is Carmelita. They are both from Queens but mom
is from Columbia where they make Buñuelos, sweet like a doughnut but...
(text #213, 4:17 pm) I know Buñuelos, my friend from Honduras made them!
(text #214, 4:18 pm) Yes, but they're Columbian, way better!
My sprinkles from Paradise, (text 221, 4:56 pm)
It's so nice to talk about Buñuelos, my Doughnut Pie!
I will text your mom, we have sooo much in common, it's sick!
Sweet Bagel Aladin, (text 230, 6:21 pm)
Your text to mom was so dope she was on fire; had to get extinguisher.
She says she's ready to put u in the constitution, "Doughnuts love Bagels forever".
My curvaceous CEO, (tex 234, 7:40 pm)
Showed some pics to my FAM (had to flex a bit) and they all think you're dope.
Who would think a Bagel could love thee so?
You and me in this tight Ship of love, (text 236, 8:15 pm)
Feeling crunked and high from Lovey Dovey Feel distracted like a housefly, in my mind's eye, Cupid has shot me in the thigh.
BFF Love Poet, (text 237, 8:57 pm)
Last text was sweeter than sweet. Parents take my phone at 9, Cringe! Text u tomorrow!
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