The Secret Service's Bear

Sitting in my cave

waiting by the fire

staring at the great stars

I kept wondering

Wondering

In this honey-den of mine

A world of total safety

I kept wondering

How un-manlike  am I?

In my bearskin black

My claws still kept sharp against the bark

Going back to my cave

Thought I: I don't care about being rich

From my claws to my teeth

So I walked upright following my old tracks

Weaving between highways 

Depositories of bountiful trash

I wondered

The way it is and the way it was

The Secret Service had called me

To bear witness

Was it a dark moment? Should I swim away?

"The White House needed me" 

(An agent boasted)

I was needed urgently

Epic.

Living in the woods and now

The White House.

Teddy Roosevelt told my Grandpa

We bears were all right

And Clinton said something about not asking or telling

To avoid any type of same sex fight

Today and every day

It's like being in love for the first time

My heart is proud to shadow that of the President

From organised terror to

Fanatically driven incursions

Here I am to

Bear the brunt of our nation's security

And drive my claws like a Christian sword

For the greater good of mankind

And if you cross my path

No grudge shall cometh upon me for

I am the King of Animals

Over centuries Man has wished to liken to me

And even King Arthur waited for my waking to

Pull out Excalibur

The deed was done

True you say the days are getting shorter

And Isis is nearing our quarters

So I shall hibernate a good while

To let the stardust compile

Just remember when I wake

To give me a hug

And not care if I smell vile.

Me and My Drone

No two drones are alike

My drone

A high hurling autopilot deus ex machina

Has followed me and my family for years.

Sometimes I ask: "How many ways doth my drone love thee?"

One: When I painted my roof with tar, the drone checked from an altitude of 3,000 feet (using its  gamma ray sensors, biological sensors,  camera through the clouds) if the tar had indeed seeped into the cracks.

Two: to make sure that my balding spot is properly brushed when going to work.

Three: when visiting a new site my drone can tell me how many stairs I have to walk up or down.

Four: My drone can tell me how many police cars are in my neighborhood; knowing where they are stalking has made me more relaxed and my blood pressure has gone down.

Five: Since I love chipmunks I wish to know, before my dog gets my morning paper, how many chipmunks are in my garden.

My drone, rain or shine, can send me accurate information regarding not only chipmunks, but chipmunk predators. That's also why I arm my drone with Tomahawks SSH1A's (a family version missile that is meant to take out only domestic animals) because there are too many cats in my neighborhood.

My community doesn't with that we use the leaf-blower if there are more than 6 blowers on the block, I can do a quick check and see how many neighbors are blowing before taking out my gear.

And what about all those hours spent waiting to buy a ticket on Broadway? Since we have our drone we have cut those lines in half, using stealth technology brings on a windfall of smiles.

 From my remote control synthetic vision system I can

night or day,

seek, observe and react in real time to real situations

I can even follow my kids movements 

whether they be 10 or 10,000 miles from home!

My wife and I are so happy with our drone we

decided to buy another one.

The XXX-WMW by Lockeed

-Capable of flying 24 hours a day 

-Capable of being recharged by laser light

-Capable of flying up to 200 mph with a decibel count of under 50

The XXX-WMW has been approved by the San Francisco Police and

The Serbian Vanilla and Chocolate Swirly Tango dance company

(first reconnoitered by the XXX-WMWjr)

There are so many applications for a drone, it is time everyone should have their own 

With a global landscape that is more user friendly

The economy will sky rise.

Drones don't deliver delicious diners

But they can let us see our pizza on its way getting delivered.