Wednesday, June 26, 2024

The Serial Slingshot Shooter and Joey Chestnut Soyadogs

Pull, aim and shoot!

Prince King did it better than anyone else. 

2472 broken windows
871 broken windshields
No human victims
The Serial Slingshot Shooter prevailed
He stirred a quiet neighbourhood like the stirring of a 
Pot of risotto
And they quivered like a Tremolo between notes
Waiting for the next aggression.

Prince King prevailed


The Serial Slingshot Shooter shot his pellets at all hours
For over a period of 12 years
After his arrest the court ordered that he stay 200 yards away from all his neighbours, 
Yet he would have needed to move to Alaska to fulfil that order. 

Theories about his motivation still abound.
Was he a slingshot shooter shot by an abusive parent?
Did he evolve from a peashooter sticking spitballs on the ceiling of his public school
To a crack window shatter-er
Who seemingly started his undertaking after retirement?

True, his job was a quality control manager for 
An elastic company
Making everything from rubber bands to 
Industrial belts for Harley Davidsons
Nothing drastic his coworkers said he wasn't enthusiastic 
But respected the stretch of rubber with a beady eye

When the police searched the 2 bedroom home of 
Prince King
They found an upside down picture of slingshot
A model showing a couple embracing





Was this part of his subterfuge? It worked: his neighbours thought he was a sweetheart
Only Prince lived alone... having lost his wife, his heart was in shambles.

After he died a kook put a sign in his lawn, it said:

"It' all about Joey Chestnut!"

A crazy conspiracy. Could the Serial Slingshot Shooter have been upset when 
Nathan's banned
Joey Chestnut
From the Hotdog contest
Because he decided to eat SOYADOGS?

Crazy,  but the mystery remains.























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