The Lift

I remember the first time I got a lift

It wasn't in a car

Even though at 4 we drove very far

I was in the Empire State Building

Where the elevators were going

"Ring-a-ding-ding!"

And ever since I've been lifting.

At the age of 8 I started as a shoplifter

Grabbing and stuffing candy into my pockets

Like stuffing a Thanksgiving turkey

At school, during typewriting class

We learned how use the Shift

That lifted the type bars, the letters

That slammed against the ribbon to 

Print wondrous CAPS

My doctor who dismissed boosting

My low blood pressure with

Mephentermine

Gave me a long sermon

To drink water and wear stockings

And proposed I buy knickerbockers for my

Manley thighs to make it all look natural.

When I got married I opened

My wife's wedding present on a chairlift

It was a box of chapstick -I suffered from dry lips

I was so happy I was reminded

When I was seasick and

I met Levée, who told me not to

Lean on her but

Get a lift out of life.

Later on, during Covid, I had to air lift

boxes of Q-tips and home testing kits to Nebraska

We loaded a military C-17

Played canasta and exchanged nasal swabs and shots of

Whiskey 

Still my spirits are on a rollercoaster

If I could only join my son Oscar and

Pick mushrooms with him somewhere lost in Yukon.

What a lift, what a lift!