Uneven Events

I was walking down 33rd street when someone crossed my path
Once wearing fluffy all in one jacket
He unfairly pointed me out and said:
"Your left heel is unevenly worn."

It was the beginning of a chain of events for
I started to notice a myriad of such uncommon sightings
I dove in a bar to consume 5 drinks
So here I compiled them here for posterity.

When I got to my car I saw that my right disk brake
Though seemingly against all odds would never wear and
Tear to the square of the left disk brake
Had worn down much more
I drove over a bunch of potholes to get to my swimming session

I came out of the pool after a long swim I found that
Whatever fair treatment I had reserved for my ears functionality
And no matter which hemisphere I may have traveled to to maintain them proper
My right ear had produced a gob of wax whereas
My left ear was clean as a whistle

At home I went to my aquarium to feed my sea creatures.
I noticed my Australian Black Nettle jellyfish's left hooded
Bell was more used and thinner than it's right hood but
Then I thought a jellyfish my not have a left or right side to
Contend with

Feeling rather rattled I decided to send some quick messages
To my loved ones and immediately I could sense that my
Right swipe function had worn out faster and was slower than
The left swipe function on my phone
(Of course the fingerprints on my right index finger are more worn
than my right index finger.)

Add caption

Rarely in such a disconcerted state I opted to take a shower.
Yet the shower head sprayed unevenly forcing me to
Press my body against the cold black and white tiles and move
Around the shower stall like a criminal in search of
Insufficient  misbegotten droplets that needed to
Remove the resistant antibacterial film of soap that adhered to my skin
(No I was not worried about opportunistic parasites that 3 times out of 7
make their way into a host for a long sojourn.)

Getting out of the shower I sneezed 3 times and thought about how uneven and unfair
A parachuting program of beavers had been in the 1950s when
Conservationists randomly trapped beaver and air-dropped them into wild regions
Only taking weight, tooth and tail measurements of their specimens
At the time of their capture.

http://www.popsci.com/vintage-video-parachuting-beavers

My only remedy for this state of agitation I decided was to take the A train to
Coney Island and get on the Cyclone as fast as possible.
Indeed, the roller-coaster evened out the imperfect and irregular digestion
That I had been suffering from and
My heartbeat surprisingly levelled to a regular rhythm
I tipped the ticket booth $2 and took 4 minutes to eat a Nahan's hot dog
Without any mustard.