The Third Coming

 This poem pays hommage to William Butler Yeats

A Falconer, Newton and Snoop Dogg are having a talk at a falconer show in front of a food truck.

The falcon cannot hear the falconer

"Ring-up ya screamer!"

And the majestic bird releasing its claws from the gloved hand

Rose with the air

Fixing its eyes on a cloud veiling the Sun then veering left when

Things fell apart; the centre could not hold

Snoop Dogg: "Hey Newton" what were you copying from Leonardo?"

Newton: "Give me a break, all he did was make a doodle 

On a page with the rain falling diagonally. My Apple

Fell straight down!"

Snoop Dogg: "Ya gotta look back to go forward.

Them Leonardo rain drops came 

Before your apple thunked your head."

The Falconer: (looking worriedly at a Falcon App on his phone) "Kack-Kack-Kack-Kack! 

Dear, dear, don't fly away from the anarchy of this world!"

"And what went down with Galileo 

Dropping the Bomb from the Tower of Pisa, ain't that right Newton?"

Newton: "Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo Figaro Magnificooo"

"Can you spread some extra Mayo on 

That eggplant tomatillo?" sang along Snoop

The Falconer, also looking at the Food Truck Guy with

Conviction and passionate intensity 

"You can Second me on that Eggplant mayo tomatillo"

A "Boom" was heard, some thought it was an explosion

Everyone looked up as the Goshawk punctured a balloon

Floating high above

Suspended now

Dropping

Tufts of sheepy cotton bits

Responding to Gravity

Falling into the nearby Sea.

"Do you want a drink with that?" asked the 

Food Truck Guy, craning his neck towards 

The hullabaloo 

"I'll have a beer without any gluten" said Newton

"Just a cup of icy Tap, long as it's crystal clear" purred Dogg

Kack-Kack-Kack-Kack! This time it was the Falcon, not the Trainer

Surely some revelation is at hand

Surely the Second Coming is at hand

Some white fluffy bits are still falling

Newton: "You are treating me like a floundering 

Monkey. There's more Science in me than Sing-Song in you."

Snoop Dogg: "I say Galileo dropped cannon balls and wood

One century before your Apple, Dude."

"And the Tower of Pisa was standing straight" smirked Newton

"Kack-Kack-Kack-Kack!"

 this time it was the Falconer 

His eyes became red

A tail crept out from his pants whose contours 

Took on a female silhouette 

Even Cardi-B 

Wouldn't miss doing a double take -soak in a visual detour

Like a saturated sponge thirsting for the horror of the next drought!

"I am the Chimera" the words sizzled off what was

The Falconer's tongue

With a gaze blank and pitiless as the sun

And darkness drops again

Spiritus Mundi 

Goody two shoes Burundi

The falcon vanished and bats appeared

Fluttering with the Moon as a backdrop 

That just kept on going.

"The Moon lost its Gravity" cried Newton,

"Soon the Oceans will no longer stick to the bottom."

"It's the 3rd Coming!" shouted Snoop,

Chewing and Sucking on his Eggplant Tomatillo with Mayo

"Hey Beast" he continued, pointing with his long fingers,

"Bethlehem is wayway. If you're looking for sinn

Doomsday is thataway."

Cover your mouth

Frauline Meow loved eating

And also covering her mouth

But with each delightful chew

Her expression went South

You would think she would enjoy eating behind

A curtain or some blinds, shades, shutters

Yet Frauline Meow just covered her muzzle with

Her hand to block all sputters

One wondered, if she was once "sput" or the "sputee"

Was it the inner or outer fear from those cavernous jaws 

That would push her to consider sewing  a square of gauze 

Lip to lip, cheek to cheek

That no observer could ever peek at

Those masticating mandibles from Amerique?

One day, Frauline Meow decided to join a support group for victims 

Eating with Mouths

(She had first consulted ChatGBT that had suggested she eat

Behind a Cabbage tree)

There she met John Who

Who since the age of 4 always covered his mouth

At school -Who told Meow- when he ate kids 

Echoed a cow's moo

And John didn't know what to do.

Fast forward 2 years John Who married 

Frauline Meow

When eating their wedding cake friends

Filmed using the Canva App

Posting flipping images sputtering  the white topping 

Sputtering in slow motion against John and Meow's

Hands that

Rapidly waved like ping-pong paddles

Or Chinese hand fans bumbling in the 

Blistering heat

Even though Frauline Meow's Mum wasn't known to

Have a Broad Palatability regarding ostentatious clothes

She danced with John Who who was wearing a paisley jacket with 

No shirt showing

Off

His

Tiger tattoo

Eating a tiger striped rat while

Covering its mouth with its paw.

Nursery Tank Rhyme

U-Ukraine is falling down

Falling down, falling down.

U-Ukraine is falling down

Could you send me a Bradley?

Off to war you must go

You must go, you must go

Off to war, you must go

Tank or no Tank Baby.

There are no Tanks, what a let down

What a let down, what a let down.

There are no Tanks, what a let down

My Lady will need electrotherapy

The New Zealand PM has no more in her Tank

No more in her Tank, no more in her Tank

The New Zealand PM has no more in her Tank

And she's not a War Baby.

Off to the front you must go

You must, you must go

Off to the front you must go 

Watch the gay drone Lady

U-Ukraine is falling down

Falling down, falling down.

U-Ukraine is falling down

This is no prank Lady.

 

Cocaine Bear

Cocaine Bear is everywhere!

Buying bagels this morning at the counter they said:

"Is that all? Did you see Cocaine Bear?"

During an open heart surgery it was overheard,

"Pass me the sternum spreaders, and what did you think about Cocaine Bear?"

And at the World Series final, one of the players was heard to sing,

Oh say, can you  see, By the dawn's early light,

There's a COCAINE BEAR! A COCAINE BEAR!!!

Why all the fuss?

Pablo Escobear?

In Romeo and Juliet, Shakesbear said,

"To Bear poison, I would temper it"

I can no longer forbear,

To see a Bear

Chew up victims in an ambulance

Or shoot up a tree like a squirrel

What flair, I swear! For a drugged barbare!

I still don't get it, when Marc Anthony said:

"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your Bears!"

He was just being vulgare.

 Au contraire in Cairo, Egypt, 

The people fear not these mighty, furry omnivores,

So changes were made for the mega release of the film 

"Cocaine Hippo" it is called,  

A hippo swims upstream the Nile with the speed of a dolphin, 

Eating hundreds of tourists on its rampage, 

Eating hundreds more in the sacred pyramids! 

Millions are flocking for the premiere 

You won't need a pillow 

If you watch Cocaine Hippo

Millions are flocking for the premiere 

You won't need a pillow if you watch

Cocaine Hippo.

'

Carbird

I,  Carbird, I  am

Not an albatros hung from the neck of an aging  sailor

Nor  a newborn nerd  of  Nature

Wishing to blow bubbles through a ring without soap

My  wings drive through the  hot noxious fumes

They flap and merge into the fast lane

With wanderlust, zufrieden!

Carbird

Some  know me as Ford Falcon, Firebird or Golden Eagle

I am known to have more horsepower than a Puffin at a crossing

I am known to tailgate using my winged mirrors, 

Airfoil plumes

Hybrid transmission

Roundabout synergy

My  friends run around with

Adaptive cruise control

Drowsiness Detectors

Magic Body Control and

Night Vision

That just has me sound my beep, pressing the HOORN!

As I fill up with biodiversity 

And  make sure this time  there won't  be 

Bidirectional blame 

'Cause a Pontiac Firebird is maneuvering from a hard shoulder 

Hitting a pothole and rolling over in MY direction

The driver, a loose goose, texting, sexting

We're both heading to  a cul-de-sac when

A  Proud Boy  on an electric scooter

Holding a wooden hammer gives me a smile

He only as 6 teeth  but his  grimace is one of 

Road Rage

(I thought baseball bats were used by default)

Then a white Buick Skylark 1963  

Came swooping up  the wrong way of a cobblestoned roundabout 

Flashing  its retrofitted, rehabilitated custom rejuvenescent tail lights

Burning black tread from its White Wall tires 

RPM in the Red

From my  birds eye view I thought again... and maybe it wasn't a Skylark

But an Austin Martin Cygnet

Crash! At that moment the Proud Boy smashed my windshield with his hammer 

I hit the brakes, 

My hydrocarbon emissions were past inspectability 

The guy's hammer got stuck in my triangular vent window

And since it was attached to her wrist he went flying as the car  dragged him across the driveway 

(Pulled like on waterskis, his golden wavy locks clashed with his green military  fatigues)

(A  scream? If there was a scream it was drowned out by the sound of the spinning tires)

Of a house that happened to belong to Jay Leno,  and  180  car collection.

Jay  came running out,  flames and smoke  rising  from  his ashen  head -that  was a separate accident 

I stopped  the  car, sprung out,  flapped my  wings  too  put out the  fire, and hopped 3 steps on the

 

Zebra crossing before  taking  to the skies, promising myself 

Never to  look back into my rear view  mirror.

1. 
   

Roger and Liz, Anniversary Day, August 14, 2022

Celebrating this day, a proto-love-union

Marked with music, family, and serious cake-eating 

A wedding in Rockport between

Roger and Liz

Before the rage of the Web

Who could have guessed Roger and Liz would

Be able to conquer the elements

To know what to shop, 

How much and where?

Before texting existed?

And how to dress the children

Before school

Getting that lint roller to

Replace the lint roller that Corky chewed out

And what about takeout?

Finding that sponge that didn't have

Teflon on it to wash the dishes when no one put

POWERBALL DISHWASHING SOAP 

on the list

It had to be

NATURAL

As the Palais de Versaille!

Lang Sponge in Versaille, circa 1992 

Mona Lisa's smile

Everyone wants to know

Why Mona Lisa's smiling so

Leonardo had a hard time getting his model

Lisa Giocondo, to sit still

Yet he wanted her to have a fresh expression, so he told her,

"Think about the best time you had last summer"

"Leonardo, you know it was a bummer."

(Lisa was from a wealthy family and her helicopter mom prevented her from

flirting until she was 18.)

"Didn't you go swimming all the time?" asked the great Maestro

                    In 1504 Florentine  life guards were rare

                    Nevertheless, swimming in the Arno brought out the latest Renaissance 

                      Beachwear

                    Only dangers lurked in those dark waters as even today

                    Swimmers don't always come up for air.

                    A ban in 1498 forbade swimming after 8

                    Lifeguards, or in those days in Italian, 

                    "Vigile di bagnigno di vita celeste"

                    Were few

                    But with the backing of the Medicis, the laws were enforced

                    Making swimming almost taboo.

"Of course I did, Leonardo!" she replied, her subtle smile permeating her gentle face

Her memories shifted to that July evening, at 9:05, when she came out of the cool river from

a dip. Many were getting arrested due to the late hour, yet she managed to slip past the guards,

turning, she gave them the "cornuto" and ran home.