Positon for the Directer of Human Torture

 In Ancient Egypt

On papyrus 

A job opening for a director of human torture

Was deciphered 

To restore a lost sense of pride from the previous director

Who contented himself with stuffing something like 

100 Q-tips up the nose

This temple cleaning resulted in the hiring of 

Amenemhat, a truly self-important supporter of

the Pharaoh 

Mind you

A type who came home chiming

"Honey, I found a new nail to drive through adult skulls"

(This is when he was an intern, a greenhorn at the job. )

Hence Amenemat was a progressive chap

Slaves had to be harnessed

Broken but not too much

Threatened yet offered a little light

A chance for their freaky misadventure 

That would lead them to become avatars

Represented on stone reliefs for millennia 

Amenemhat prepared for the interview

He knew a bad showing could commit himself to being a slave

He conjectured it was worth it

Even if it meant ending up in a pigs grave.

He spoke in the highest terms with regard to Horus

He made a drawing of a new torture device 

And the job was awarded with a nod from

Anubis

 The contract was signed even though the job didn't offer

Health care 

And under the blazing Sun

He walked out of the temple feeling like a 

Billionaire.

Cowbells on the move

 

Unthaa Albaqara Daisy is a Syrian cow whose eyes are said to glow

Some say it's unusual because it moos in a falsetto. 

What's even more unusual is that its  cowbell it wears dates back to 1914

A Swiss cow named Diamantine was working in Verdun

A bomb sent by the enemy blasted from bottom to  top of the 

Tree line and 

Shrapnel scattered all around. 

Diamantine should have suffered grave injuries except 

Her cowbell deflected a large object destined for her throat

Over many years, Wanda, the  owner, ranted about this miracle

But beyond a doubt, Diamantine couldn't have cared less

She was the kind of cow that lived with little stress.

Decades later, in a French flea market the cowbell was sold

It made its way to Syria near Aleppo, I'm told 

Unthaa Albaqara Daisy became the next bearer of this bell

But one day a bomb exploded in a nearby field

And the sound of the blast was tenfold 

Unthaa Albaqara Daisy

Didn't need a sales pitch

It hit the ditch

A nearby chicken pen was decimated

A year of repairs were estimated

God willing Unthaa was fine

Thanks to her cowbell her injuries were benign

Such a wonderful story 

Sounds circulatory 

And may only affect your if you're open to

All things bovine.