My snowcat's got a winch

My snow cat's got a winch

(wink wink)

My snow cat's got a winch

(wink wink)

It chops and densifies flakes

It makes saw teeth configurations

And with unfettered migration 

Moves snow topping the Mont Blanc or

The tallest  Tech corporation in the Haitian Nation.

My snow cat's got a winch

(wink wink)

My snow cat's got a winch

(wink wink)

I'm lucky if I can blink

In the heart of the night

Driving my 9,765 kilo 

Orange Groomer

I keep my pocket comb handy

Cause I'm a baby boomer!

Driving a snow cat 

Is like eating an eclair whilst

Having a prayer that

The chocolate filling won't squirt on the window and

Obstruct the icy view

Driving a snowcat  requires

Good skin care

A  long head of

Hair

And outerwear such as

Knitwear 

To plow in good humor

My snow cat's got a winch

(wink wink)

My snow cat's got a winch

(wink wink)

Going up and down a mountain is not 

An ice rink

My seat belt's so tight

I can't even twerk

My stomach is rumbling like a building site

I can barely work.

My Mommy gave me an 

Ice pick for my birthday

My brother got me new spikes for my cleats

My boss told me

I gotta do a better job filling out

Those worksheets

My girlfriend was butthurt 

When I got this job she says

I love my snowcat more than her

Yadada Snowcat, 

Yadada.

The Lift

I remember the first time I got a lift

It wasn't in a car

Even though at 4 we drove very far

I was in the Empire State Building

Where the elevators were going

"Ring-a-ding-ding!"

And ever since I've been lifting.

At the age of 8 I started as a shoplifter

Grabbing and stuffing candy into my pockets

Like stuffing a Thanksgiving turkey

At school, during typewriting class

We learned how use the Shift

That lifted the type bars, the letters

That slammed against the ribbon to 

Print wondrous CAPS

My doctor who dismissed boosting

My low blood pressure with

Mephentermine

Gave me a long sermon

To drink water and wear stockings

And proposed I buy knickerbockers for my

Manley thighs to make it all look natural.

When I got married I opened

My wife's wedding present on a chairlift

It was a box of chapstick -I suffered from dry lips

I was so happy I was reminded

When I was seasick and

I met Levée, who told me not to

Lean on her but

Get a lift out of life.

Later on, during Covid, I had to air lift

boxes of Q-tips and home testing kits to Nebraska

We loaded a military C-17

Played canasta and exchanged nasal swabs and shots of

Whiskey 

Still my spirits are on a rollercoaster

If I could only join my son Oscar and

Pick mushrooms with him somewhere lost in Yukon.

What a lift, what a lift!