I spent the weekend listening to a sports broadcaster comparing the savage evolution of a yellow boxfish to a Toyota Yaris and a skeleton bobsled manned by a female Jamaican team only to learn that the angle of the blades of speedsters is offset by .85 degrees in order to accommodate a more gripping trajectory as the skaters spin around the ice at impossible speeds.
It is a Savage Winter Games
And if you feel like a quarantined Buffalo
Corralled at the airport waiting
To burst out of security of your nation
Then consider when 17 year old
Red Gerald won the gold medal in Slopesstyle
Winging so many twists and turns one feels dammed
To dig for what angelic, civilised thoughts
Must have been orbiting in this young lad's head
(Certainly not the Tesla propulsed by the Falcon Heavy
Into a solar orbit that won a gold medal in the eyes of
Push-button happy leaders)
And Red's beastly post-medal comment was
"I just wanted to land it"
His grinning coach beside him
His teeth going "a-ching!" as future green bills
Flipped before his pupils'
Still it is the Olympics that is known for twisting and turning
And what Olympian deserves higher accolades than
Huzuru Hanyu who with his
Pistol pose, hydroblading and signature Biellman spin
(With a generous foot posed over and behind the head)
Is considered the Skater of the Century!
Hanyu's flock of followers chuck Pooh Bears on the ice
Hanyu dips into a Pooh Box of tissues to dry his post
Some on the Alt Right taking out their Gaydometers claim
Hanyu is flaming
But for those who know him they see fearless effeminate feats
Skating in the silence of the sublime
And even Winnie the Pooh
Walking around the snowy woods like a half-naked savage
Holding hands with Piglet and Christopher Robin
Never had us doubt that he knew where he was going to land.