Welcome everyone, the winds are blowing tonight with near gale forces; an elephanteer has recounted seeing a fellow poet being wisked in the air by his ears and blown to the other side of the lake!
But for those of you here tonight, many are desirous to berate, to tell
your loved ones, your mignions, that despite trying to do well they might as well sit full lotus on a tatami and stare at the wall.
2017 is a special year, it is a year that exudes in confidence : we are invited to be full of ourselves and express ourselves in succinct tweets such as : « Honey, Hashtag So ugly in front of mirror this morning. Divorce not happening ! »
2017 is the year for Radiant Elephants to Berate again !
And these past few days have provided us with lots of exciting news!
· There was medical confirmation how cleaning elephant ears with Q-tips is not only a sensless waste of time but ineffective. Just letting the wax fall out turns out to be the healthiest option.
· A Trump construction company that has started operations to clean the swamp in Washington, has found 20 years worth of gas that otherwise would have polluted the atmosphere.
· William Sessions in his confirmation hearing said that he would not hesitate to use unchained prisoners to train attack dogs to guard the US Mexico border hence breaking with his earlier positon of using chain gangs and attaching prisoners to posts.
· Despite Brexit and the heat of Teresa Mae's hard words England is expecting a surge of toursim this year mainly for its Imbolc Fire Festival in Huddersfield, a Celtic festival that involves burning symbols as well as the Blessing of the Throats in ST Ethelreda, London where two candles are tied together, lit, and touched on the necks of people suffering from sore throats.
· Macedonia’s economy is said to be booming this year mainly since the appellation « Macedonian salad » became protected. « We just followed the example of Champagne » Aristomace Dzovnimir, a spokesperson for the Macedonian Chamber of commerce said. « Only Macedonian salad can be made in Macedonia, and any country that tries to label our heritage will have to pay a penalty.»
· Filippino boxer Manny Pacquiaois is being brought back by NIKE after last year he was let go for saying that « gay people are worse than animals. »
« We clearly over-reacted » CEO Peter Parker stated. We misjudged the politcal climate of the country and our market. We have decided to make Manny Pacquiaois one of NIKE’s most valuable faces of our company and he will be compensated at the same level as Cristiano Ronaldo and Kobe Bryant. Rumors have it that Ryan-Lochte, the Olympic swimmer implicated in a nasty scandal of being held up in Rio, will also be reinstated on Wheaties cereal and Horizon Legacy dog food, food that will make your dog a better swimmer.
The closing of Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus has come as a shock to many but fortunately Donald Trump has come to the rescue and offered a permanent residence in the west wing of the White House where formally the press corps used to work from. "Barnum closing # won't happen!"
So thank you for coming and may we get on with some stories and poems to kick of this enticing year !