Welcome everyone, the winds are blowing
tonight with near gale forces; an elephanteer has recounted seeing a fellow
poet being wisked in the air by his ears and blown to the other side of the
lake!
But for those of you here tonight, many are
desirous to berate, to tell
your loved ones, your mignions, that despite
trying to do well they might as well sit full lotus on a tatami and stare at
the wall.
2017 is a special year, it is a year that
exudes in confidence : we are invited to be full of ourselves and express
ourselves in succinct tweets such as : « Honey, Hashtag So ugly in
front of mirror this morning. Divorce not happening ! »
2017 is the year for Radiant Elephants to
Berate again !
And these past few days have provided us with
lots of exciting news!
· There
was medical confirmation how cleaning elephant ears with Q-tips is not only a
sensless waste of time but ineffective. Just letting the wax fall out turns out
to be the healthiest option.
· A Trump
construction company that has started operations to clean the swamp in
Washington, has found 20 years worth of gas that otherwise would have
polluted the atmosphere.
· William
Sessions in his confirmation hearing said that he would not hesitate to use
unchained prisoners to train attack dogs to guard the US Mexico border hence
breaking with his earlier positon of using chain gangs and attaching prisoners
to posts.
· Despite
Brexit and the heat of Teresa Mae's hard words England is expecting a surge of
toursim this year mainly for its Imbolc Fire Festival in Huddersfield, a Celtic
festival that involves burning symbols as well as the Blessing of the Throats
in ST Ethelreda, London where two candles are tied together, lit, and touched
on the necks of people suffering from sore throats.
· Macedonia’s
economy is said to be booming this year mainly since the appellation
« Macedonian salad » became protected. « We just followed the
example of Champagne » Aristomace Dzovnimir, a spokesperson for the
Macedonian Chamber of commerce said. « Only Macedonian salad can be made
in Macedonia, and any country that tries to label our heritage will have to pay
a penalty.»
· Filippino
boxer Manny Pacquiaois is being brought back by NIKE after last year he was let
go for saying that « gay people are worse than animals. »
« We clearly over-reacted » CEO
Peter Parker stated. We misjudged the politcal climate of the country and our
market. We have decided to make Manny Pacquiaois one of NIKE’s most valuable
faces of our company and he will be compensated at the same level as Cristiano
Ronaldo and Kobe Bryant. Rumors have it that Ryan-Lochte, the Olympic swimmer
implicated in a nasty scandal of being held up in Rio, will also be reinstated
on Wheaties cereal and Horizon Legacy dog food, food that will make your dog a
better swimmer.
The
closing of Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus has come as a shock to
many but fortunately Donald Trump has come to the rescue and offered a
permanent residence in the west wing of the White House where formally the
press corps used to work from. "Barnum closing # won't happen!"
So thank you for coming and may we get on
with some stories and poems to kick of this enticing year !
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