mardi 16 décembre 2008

Shoes and diplomacy

The manner in which diplomacy is executed has been changing rapidly. Here is a manual to offer the necessary tools to succeed in politics.
Filling a senate seat is now worth negotiating into the millions even though few stand to gain. We recommend the FYl425 shoe horn. Compact, solid, it follows a straight trajectory and you can use it over and over until the candidate offers to cough up the extra millions.

Need to fill a seat in the orient? The FYl425A is a winner! Slightly bowed in a katanas tradition, this shoe horn can is guaranteed to get results without the risk of blood and can easily double as a wide chop stick. The FYl429 and FYl429A should be employed only in small countries that are looking for temporary appointments. They can be flung with ease and nicely concealed but are inappropriate for filing seats of monarchy or royalty.
For more difficult diplomatic situations such as global warming agreements, it is necessary to move up to shoe trees. Only wooden shoe trees have the caliber to break long standing stalemates and impasses that can sometimes last years. Regarding coal emissions we consider the GO3001 (the model in the middle) to have sufficient conviction to shatter the hubris of countries who want to protect their own interests. The GO3002 -on the left- has been proven effective to get all sides to obtain joint rectification on hydrofluorocarbons in record time. Depending on the proficiency of the user, the GO3002 can have a range of over 20 meters making it appropriate for large convention halls.
The Go3003, on the other hand, should be used for those intractable conventions where even the framework is disagreed on. With a range of over 25 meters and the ability to open up on impact discords on CO2 have evaporated in seconds.
Lastly, when it comes to war and peace and dealing with heads of state, as recent events have proved, nothing beats the old standard shoe which can be thrown either from the heel or the toe. Although some negotiators have a sworn preference for l980's models stating that the tassels have and aerodynamic advantage, so far this has not been proven in clinical tests and success has been achieved with models going back to the 50's to today. Although the shoe remains the most effective tool in today's diplomacy it is challenged by the fact that it has a range of just over 10 meters and it takes much greater mastery to use compared to previous models mentioned.

Therefore, before undertaking strategic positioning, warming up is ever important and if one aims to be an esteemed and honored politician in the line of a skilled James Baker or Tony Blair, please don't forget S & R's Muscle Rub Miracle cream. Remember to apply sparingly and rub behind the shoulder blade to get best results.

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