mardi 14 juillet 2015

The Day I Checked into my Senior Living Home

The car stopped and as I got out looking around, my eyes scanned the landscape. There was a roadworks truck directly blocking the entrance and it was, I suppose, repairing a pothole. The heat from the fresh tar not only penetrated through the soles of my shoes which I had bought on sale the day before at "Pay Less Shoe Soupless" for $29.99, a 30% savings, but both my walker and my shoes adhered to the surface with such vehemence that I was unable to move. What did move was a trickle of sweat that rand down behind my ear. I was just 10 yards from the entrance, I could see the the automatic door getting jammed when a lady wearing a white cotton dress with a blue straw hat that was obviously too big for her and also cover what certainly was a pretty head of hair turned and said, "Do you need any help?"
This could seemingly appear as a friendly gesture but I was keen to pick up her accent on the "you" which sounded condescending and on top of that she could have addressed me "Madame" or "My Lady" which given the circumstances would have been appropriate. 
"Go fuck yourself" I re torqued, "just call the Manager and tell her to get her ass out here fast." 
Bambi the manager trotted out in flat heels like she was out of the woods and a young man probably from the Carribean shadowed her.

"Marjolaine, we were waiting for you! What have you here?"
 Lifting my head slightly to my more dignified stance I offered,
 "Bambi, at least you could put a sign warning your elderly clients of the fresh tar. I've been planted here an hour in the sun!"
"You poor thing, and this is your first day at the Maxi Royal Senior Institute for the Uptrodden. Derrrek, get a new pair of slippers for Marjolaine. I'm sorry, we'll have to say goodbye to those shoes of yours, if you don't mind we can just leave them there as a memento to welcome future clients.

>>> At that I considered loosing my temper but I realized that if I wanted my $29.99 shoes refunded Bambi would probably send me to the city of Miami compensation board which was a three month waiting process that I was all too familiar with. 
"What a wonderful idea! I can only say that I am tickled and honored to accept your offer." 
Derrick arrived with some old slippers and politely unstuck my walker.
“You’re the third lady Ize unstuck today.” he said.
I approached the front door that automatically opened in front of me. First I saw the front desk and someone sitting there hidden behind a large computer.

"Shiiit! The computer is down again. And so is one of the elevators.Hi M'am, are you new here?"
 "Yes, you may call me Mrs Marjolaine. 
Her eyebrows lifted and it looked like she was informed of my arrival. She asked me to sit down. 
 "Oh, Miss Marjoham. Welcome young lady. If you don't mind waiting until the elevator repairman arrives we'll have you up I your room in a jiffy."
I could see the line of elderly citizens growing. They were mostly bent over, waiting very patiently for the one elevator that would take them up to their rooms.
"That could take hours lady..."
 "Just chill sweetheart, our repairman lives in the building."
"Lives in the building?"
"Our two helevators are so solicited you see that every once in a while, I mean every so, so very often - but we're ain't supposed to say this to our new guests (she whispers to my ear)they do break down you see and when they or one breaks down the situation down here or up there on the floors well, well, have you ever had your toilet clogged and the water starts to flow..."

I looked around to find Bambi but she was nowhere in sight. Although it did seem like a rough start this was the Maxi Royal Senior Institute for the Uptrodden and my dear friend Dr. Nemia did recommend it.  I heard a door open and saw presumably the elevator repairman rushing out to the hallway with his belt unfastened and a big wrench in his right hand. Could he have been banging Bambi, I thought. Then I remembered that such ideas, if my mother even suspected, would get me in big trouble.

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